Dear Lilah,
There are many times in the day that you write me 'wee notes', as you call them.
Here's one for you.
You have the most perfect almond shaped eyes, the most perfect button nose, the most perfect rosebud lips and the most perfect little sweetheart face.
Did I mention how perfect you are?
I love and adore you and I know we say it back and forth hundreds of times a day, but I want you to know, that there is no one like you, my baby girl.
Hugs & Kisses, Mama.
This morning my sweet daughter asked me: "Where's my 'nother Mama?"
I've read books, I've listened to stories, I've talked to other adoptive parents, but at 2, almost 3 years old, I never imagined she'd ask me a question like that. I guess I don't give her the credit she deserves, that she'd be thinking about and processing this information at such a tender age.
I am thankful that she is asking questions at this early age. I say that because I am still trying to find my way learning this adoptive mama thing and sometimes it isn't easy for me to keep hold of my emotions. So I can only hope I get it together better when she is older and understands the full meaning of that question. I'm not sure if my blinky-hold-back-the-tears-eyes will be very helpful. This morning, wet eyes and all, I held her and told her that her Birth Mama probably still lives in China. The next second she was away playing with her toys and I stood there watching her, feeling saddened as to why an innocent child should have to ask a question like that. I hurt for her.
One of the things I've learned in this journey is that I should be creating an open dialogue and I should be telling her the facts about adoption, fitting to her age group. So I do talk to Lilah about her Birth Parents, about China and about the SWI. I mean, it's never a forced conversation, usually it comes naturally, from seeing a pregnant lady, a baby, reading a story book, saying her bedtime prayers or even talking about China on her map of the world placemat. Just simple things, they lead us into casual conversation. Those conversations sometimes last minutes or maybe even seconds.
Every child is different and each have their own set of nurturing requirements to help them deal with abandonment and adoption. I just pray for guidance, that the Lord will equip me and help me through each set of needs that arise today, and (all being well) in our future too.
This statement really got me thinking today: We didn't just adopt a child, we are adoptive parents. It's not over the second we finalize the paperwork, it's a life-long journey.
Here's an excerpt from Tonggu Momma's blog post today:
As parents who adopt, we must ready ourselves for the rather unique journey that is adoptive parenting. We cannot simply "bring our children home" and call it a day. We must be proactive. We must humble ourselves more than most. We must acknowledge that adoption is built on loss and therefore, oftentimes, grief. We must grow comfortable with the importance of both sets of families, even if no contact exists between them. We must be prepared to change how we do things - how our parents did things - because adoptive parenting can often, then sometimes look different from parenting a biological child. We must be prepared to tackle racism and discrimination head-on if we adopt transracially.
Yesterday we got snow flurries. Today we made sandcastles.
Oops, did I say sandcastles, I meant birthday cakes! Lilah is very stuck on the birthday theme at the moment. We had a lot of fun today, in the sunshine, making birthday cakes. What better way to spend a few hours.
"smile, it's the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart"
"everyone smiles in the same language"
"wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been"
"a smile is a curve that sets everything straight"
"smiling is infectious
you can catch it like the flu
someone smiled at me today
and I started smiling too"
[ lots more smiles happening over at i heart faces this week ]
The tulips have arrived in full bloom really early this year. I mean, really really early. The Canadian Tulip Festival runs from May 7-24 and it's the special 65th anniversary edition. But because of the wonderful early spring we've been having, I doubt there'll be too many tulips left standing for the actual festival!
This morning Lilah and I took a walk down to see them. Sigh. I love tulips. There's just something about them that appeals to me. There was just one problem, my battery pack ran out and I forgot the back-up. I know, it's not the first time that's happened. Lilah was quite thrilled, I'm sure, since it meant she got her (promised) ice-cream ahead of schedule!
And get this, tomorrow the weather forecast is calling for rain showers or wet flurries, a low of 1°C and a minus windchill, of course. What is going on? I'm glad I got a few pictures of the tulips today. Now I'm away to bring in the beautiful geranium hanging basket that I bought earlier, in Costco. Crazy weather!
After she puts her hands into her pockets, she’ll look up at us and ask “You want do it? You want be tool (cool) like me?”.
She can’t wait to grow up and talks a lot about each of the following: “Do (go) to school”, “Dive (drive) the tar (car)”, “Signed the receipt”. On the other hand she constantly reaffirms that she's still our baby girl and she just melts when we say "Oh yes, you're our baby girl and we love you so much".
When we ask her if she wants something, she’ll answer and then say “And you?”. Like the other day when I asked her if she wanted a drink, she replied “Yes pease, and you?”.
If she did something that wasn’t so good and I tell her it wasn’t very nice or not so good. After a few minutes she’ll ask me “You happy now?”.
She wants to help me all the time. Wow, the helper phase is hard work. I can't even put on my clothes without her helping me. I am not complaining because I do love having her at my side while I cook supper. She stirs and whisks and chops! And always wants to see what goes into the saucepan! That part is definitely easier than her helping me put on my tights!
If she hurts herself and I say “Aww, I’m sorry Lilah”, she’ll say “It’s otay (okay), chair did it” or whatever the object is that she banged into or fell over. It’s her little way of saying, it’s not your fault!
Whenever we go out to the shopping mall or even just for a walk down the street, she’ll announce “I’m hungy (hungry)” without fail. She LOVES eating out and even if she’s just had dinner or a snack she can still manage to stuff a bit more food in! I might add she’s an amazing girl when we eat out and she really enjoys those experiences. We go to a Thai restaurant (just up the street from where we live) quite often and the waitress is called Grace - she’s the owners daughter. If I say we’re going out for Thai food, Lilah will ask me “We doeing (going) to Dacie’s (Grace’s) house?”. She must think Grace lives there!
She still loves her midday nap and sleeps for 2-3 hours every afternoon. She even tells me when she needs to go to the crib, which is usually between 1pm and 2pm. She says “I’m tied (tired) Mama” and sometimes she’ll blame something for being tired. She’ll say something like “Shopping makes me tied (tired)!” or “Parkt (park) makes me tied (tired)!”.
She is so over Dora the Explorer and after a 3 month hiatus has got a new buddy, his name is Franklin. I bought two Franklin movies a couple of weeks ago and she gets to watch one every second day or so. She really enjoys the little stories and I can hear her laughing during them. It's a good sign, I think!
Her final upper second molar broke through the gum last week. Phew!
She has a map of the world placemat and can point and tell us where she was born (in China), where Mama & Baba were born (in Ireland), where we live (in Canada) and where Auntie Lorraine, Jemma & Laura live (in Australia). When I ask her where Auntie Lorraine, Jemma & Laura live, she doesn’t actually say Australia, she says “Kangaroo”!
She really loves Friday playgroup. On the drive to it she will rhyme over and over, "I'm so excited! You excited too Mama?" Open Door Society (ODS) is a playgroup we’ve attended since Feb ‘09. It's made up of families that have been brought together by adoption, most of the children that attend are adopted. There are children from Kazakhstan, China, Vietnam, South Africa, Thailand, Ukraine, Ethiopia, USA, Canada, etc. I think it's pretty wonderful that Lilah gets to play and grow up in this environment. She has a lot of little friends and she's pretty excited to see them every week.
She is VERY excited to be turning three in another month. Last year she had no idea what was going on, but this year, oh yeah, she knows! She tells me on a daily basis, “I’m donna (going to) be 3 soon”. She also sings the “Happy Birthday” song a lot! And I think she's made the final decision on what birthday cake she'd like. She and I were checking some pictures out with google images recently. Fun fun fun!
I'd just finished fixing Lilah's hair this morning when I caught these pictures of her in the bathroom mirror. She loves to sit and look at herself and she makes all sorts of funny faces. I pretty much have to wash off the slob and sticky finger prints every single day! But it's worth it to see her silly and fun little personality!
I would just love two of this girl!
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{ see more black & white pictures at 'The Long Road to China' }
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We had so much fun today. In fact, we had so much fun that when Baba asked Lilah if she was ready for bed tonight (at 9:37 to be exact), she replied: "No! I'm still having fun!"
Today we took a little drive to Rockcliffe Park. We enjoyed looking at the daffodils, pointing out our favourite ones and then when she thought she'd like to pick one, I quickly steered her towards a patch of Dandelions. So away she went picking them. She loved it. And when I told her that my Mama told me (when I was a little girl) that if I picked Dandelions I'd pee the bed! She put her hand over her mouth and laughed and said "One time Lilah did have pee-pee in the bed", and then had another big laugh and said "That's so funny!". The girl doesn't forget a thing! She did have an accident almost two months ago, the only one I might add, since we threw caution to the wind and decided no more pull-ups. It was that one night that Baba thought I took her and I thought he took her and it ended up that neither of us took her, to the toilet. Yes, our Lilah went to the crib without doing a pee-pee. Since that incident, the lines of communication are totally open in our house!
After the Rockcliffe Park, which is just gardens, we went to a local swings and slides park and enjoyed the beautiful day that it was here today. Ahh Spring. And Daffodils. And even Dandelions. We are so in love with you all.
On another note, this is probably the best post I've ever read about God & Adoption - it had me in tears. Kudos to Tonggu Momma.
Lilah absolutely loves the 'idea' of school. She continually talks about getting to be a big girl and going to school. It likely doesn't help her little obsession that the school is just up the street from where we live, and we pass by it at least once a day.
Now and again in the evening, after supper, we take her up to the school playground for some fun. I figure by the time she's going to school, at least she'll be familiar with the playground!
"Lilah dets big dirl she's donna do to school." (pause) "I'm donna colour in too!".
Ahh school. Junior Kindergarten starts a mere 17 months from now and I am so not looking forward to it, even though she is. Or at least she thinks she is!
For now, we'll just enjoy the playground and Baba's crazy driving to and from it!
a special thanks to Papie & Nono for this lovely dress they sent Lilah for Easter
[ more pictures here ]
This little thing called 'love' is truly one of the most amazing and beautiful emotions created.
1 Corinthians 13:13 - "And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love".
It was probably my proudest Mama moment to date: One day last week when I was picking up my engagement ring at the jewellery store, the lady attending me said, "Your daughter is so affectionate". At that precise moment Lilah was in my arms, had her cheek squashed against mine, her legs wrapped around my waist and one of her little hands behind my head running her fingers through my hair.
I was glowing, positively glowing at that comment.
Lilah has always been an affectionate child. She loves loves loves to be loved. Lately her love has doubled and quadrupled, and she proclaims "I love you Mama/Baba" all day long. It's simply beautiful. She loves to be held and kissed and hugged and rocked. She has no care to walk on her own two feet, because really, why walk when you can be carried close to Baba or Mama's heart at all times? Luckily she only weighs 24lbs!
In the evening while we're eating supper, she'll ask us to put our hand on the table beside her, she then puts her face/cheek on it, closes her eyes and makes this soft little "Mmm" noise. Yes, it totally turns us into mush!
We are crazy-in-love with this affectionate little girl of ours.
More pictures here.
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[ more pictures here ]
[ more pictures here ]
